bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
