sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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