If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
