why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
