Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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