god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
