They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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