everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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