the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
