did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
