I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I showed him my bush... on skype.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
