I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
