He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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