well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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