he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize