Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
