I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
