the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This show inspires me to have sex in space
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize