Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
