as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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