You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
