i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
