We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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