...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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