rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
