smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
