Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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