I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
