I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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