Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
