btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Randomize
