And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Houston, we have a blender
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just had sex on a roof
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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