And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
be right there i have to get my cape
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize