whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
