who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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