This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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