I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize