yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just pee around me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize