He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i drank out of a bidet.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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