Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This baby is an asshole
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
