People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
