he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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