It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
