Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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