i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize