she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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