she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
