Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
