I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize