sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
