We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
