There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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