Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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