Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
