We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
