you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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