My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
