I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize