I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
