North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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