Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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