we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
