Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
