The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
someone get that fucking seahorse.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
