College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
